


For Anything

by Harky21



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, One Shot, supportive!yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 02:45:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10912707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harky21/pseuds/Harky21
Summary: He raced through the halls to find Victor’s room. Yuuri had escaped the formalities of the evening as quickly as he could. His clothes had been too hot, his collar too tight. All night he felt an itch under his skin, the feeling that something wasn’t right, that it wouldn’t be right until he knew Victor would be okay.The last year skating and living with Victor has felt like a dream to Yuuri. When Victor gets injured at the Grand Prix Finals, the two learn that love and support mean more than any medal ever could.





	For Anything

Yuuri felt the chill of the rink wash over him as he entered the stands, sighing contentedly as he looked out over the ice. There was something about the feel of the arena, the smell of the air that no matter where they were in the world it always felt like coming home. He closed his eyes and listened to the soft hum that enveloped the space, breathing in deeply and smiling softly to himself.

It’d been a year. A hard but wonderful year. A year full of tears and smiles. A year he had pushed himself to new heights in his sport. A year that changed his life in more ways than he could have ever imagined.

Yuuri lived in St. Petersburg, he was learning Russian, he was skating the best he had in a long time, and he was engaged to a man he never thought would give him a second look. But Victor always did seem to have a way of surprising him.

Warmth bloomed in his chest and cheeks at the thought.

His attention turned to the ice again, the side boards all screaming where he was. The Grand Prix Final. He made it back. _They_ made it back. He would be skating against Victor again. He would be able to step on the same stage. Victor kept his promise to keep coaching Yuuri the rest of the season and into the new one while making his own comeback.

Yuuri bit at his lip, memories from the past year surfacing. So much had happened, and not all good either...

He felt familiar arms snake around his waist, pulling him in close. Something so natural to him that he didn’t even start at the touch.

“Yuuri,” Victor whispered in his ear. “What are you thinking?”

He hummed, leaning back into Victor’s warmth, content to just _feel_ , reveling in the easy closeness they had come to share. “Nothing really.”

He felt Victor nod behind him, falling into silence.

"You ready for tomorrow?" he whispered softly after a time.

Yuuri smirked at that. "If by ready you mean ready to kick your ass, then yes," he easily teased.

"So confident you'll beat me are you?" Victor chuckled, kissing his neck. “I’m sure you will if you skate how you did at Worlds though.”

Yuuri hesitated a moment before turning in Victor’s arms to look at him. He saw the mirth in his eyes and smile, then looked away.

Making it to the Grand Prix Final was big for Victor this year. He hadn’t made it to Worlds last year. He hadn’t even placed in Europeans which he only got into due to making top three in Russian Nationals.

“Yuuri,” Victor said softly, reading Yuuri’s uneasiness, a hand going to his cheek redirecting Yuuri’s gaze up to his own. He met searching blue eyes and a gentle smile. “I am _so_ proud of what you accomplished last season, and as your coach I want you to accomplish even more.” His smile grew. “Not to mention it’s even more exciting as a competitor to have someone so amazing in the field to skate against.” He brushed a stray piece of Yuuri’s hair behind his ear.

Yuuri couldn’t help but smile back.

He’d been worried about Victor. Especially after Nationals and Europeans last year. It had hit Victor hard, how he was getting older and even when he’d been staying in shape while training Yuuri, it was hardly the same as peak physical condition.

“Not to mention I’d love to kiss another gold medal,” he leaned in to whisper, causing Yuuri to blush.

Yuuri looked away again, clearing his throat quickly, while yes he’d become accustomed to Victor’s casual touches and gestures of affection, the teasing still flustered him.

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?” Yuuri asked, tactfully changing topics.

“Wonderful!” Victor grinned, the sparkle in his eye letting Yuuri know it was true.

Victor upped his training during the off season after Worlds. He did warm-ups and conditioning with Yuuri like he had before, but Victor added even more. Yuuri didn’t catch it at first. Victor had always gotten up before he did and Yuuri was such a heavy sleeper he hadn’t realized Victor started to get up earlier to do extra strength training until he jostled the bed a bit too much one morning.

Yuuri tried to talk to Victor about it once, but merely received a smile and was told not to worry. But Yuuri _did_ worry. It added to the double time Victor already had at the rink to watch Yuuri’s routines and then work on his own which meant less time for him to rest and recoup each day. Some days Yuuri thought he saw it. Saw the weariness behind Victor’s smile, the tiredness hiding in his eyes, heard it in the small sighs when Victor thought he was already asleep, the wince when he’d get up sometimes.

He bit his lip thinking about it. It was good enough watching Victor closely from the shadows, wasn’t it? Yuuri didn’t want Victor to think he didn’t believe in him. Especially after the end of last season. He just wanted to see Victor smile. The kind that was bright, with his eyes so soft it made Yuuri’s chest ache. The kind he wouldn’t trade for anything.

“Good.” He smiled back at Victor.

“You haven’t eaten yet, right?”

Yuuri shook his head.

“Then come on, let’s go.” Victor hooked his arm around Yuuri’s, pulling him gently toward the door. “With all the travel we’ve done we need to get a good meal in. You can stare more at the rink tomorrow.”

* * *

Deafening applause brought Yuuri back. Ragged breaths tore from his chest as he took in the crowd before turning to take bow after bow, searching for only one person. His eyes found Victor's as he waited his turn at the side. Victor was beaming at him. It was a near perfect program, a small wobble on a landing was the worst of it. He felt his heart grow with pride at a skate well done.

He finally made his way off the ice, grabbing a stuffed dog and some roses, smiling and waving appreciatively to the stands as he made his way to open arms.

The need for Victor’s hug at the end of programs had hardly dwindled, Yuuri had just gotten better at controlling the urge, slowing down and taking his time.

When he finally made it to the side, Victor’s arms engulfed him.

"That was magnificent, my love." Victor kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry I can't wait for your score with you."

"Don't worry," he smiled up at him, squeezing his hand lightly. "Now it's your turn." Yuuri moved to go wait with Yakov with one last squeeze of Victor’s hand and a kiss on his cheek.

"The landing on your quad flip wasn’t clean. Even after both Victor and I have coached you and you were able to land it perfectly yesterday you can't get it right?" Yakov started to heckle him over the minute details of the program. Yuuri had to come to learn that was as much praise from Yakov than anything else, so he just smiled a little nodding while his hands began to worry themselves as he waited for the score.

He heard the crowd erupt in applause and cheering again as he leaned forward squinting to make out the blurry numbers. He wasn't able to make them out before a heavy hand came down heavily on his back, knocking him forward.

"Seems even you can pull a miracle sometimes."

Yuuri saw the Japanese flag by his name jump up to first, but he still couldn't tell by how much.

Yakov stood up. "You took the lead over Yura by a point. Let's see if Victor has it in him to take it from you shall we?"

Yuuri couldn’t help but feel giddy at the possibility of being on the podium with Victor as he quickly took off his skates. Standing next to each other in the top two positions. The idea filled him with so much pride, even if he did get second. He hurried over to Yakov at rinkside just in time for Victor to take the ice.

With that the arena once again broke into cheers. Victor waved to the crowd before raising an arm and crossing his other over his chest, settling into his starting position.

A hush fell as the first notes of the symphony ghosted out, drawing Victor to life. This season Victor chose to focus on rebirth. His programs showed it. As the melody grew so did Victor’s movements. Yuuri watched nervously as his first jump came with a rise in the music and sighed with relief as he landed it perfectly.

But as the program continued he began to worry. He might have just been seeing things, but as Victor continued to skate something seemed… off. There was a heaviness to his skating Yuuri hadn’t seen before. His second jump came and went. His landing was slightly off balance, but he kept his momentum.

As the music flowed, Yuuri continued to catch small things here and there that weren’t bad, but also weren’t quite right. A buzz of discomfort under his skin began to grow. Victor’s jumps weren’t quite as high and his movements didn’t hold the power he was used to seeing, it was like he was skating with lead in his limbs. Was Yuuri the only one who could see it? He glanced to Yakov, but could see nothing in the stone mask he wore during routines. Yuuri looked back as Victor began the last piece of footwork, the last jump.

It all happened in the span of a breath. The music rose and Victor with it. One second he was in the air and the next he was crumpled on the ground.

Yuuri’s heart stopped as he heard the cry of pain through the music, watching in slow motion as Victor’s leg bent the wrong way and he hit the ice hard, sliding into the side board.

Silence swept through the arena as everyone watched. Before Yuuri could think, his body was moving, but a strong hand immediately grabbed his shoulder. He looked back at Yakov who shook his head. Yuuri looked back to the ice. Victor still wasn’t moving. Yuuri tried to break from Yakov’s hold again. Victor _wasn’t moving_. But the coach held fast to him, eyes trained on the ice just as Yuuri’s were.

Finally he saw Victor curl into himself, a loud gasp of pain sounding from him. Yuuri didn’t hear as the music that had been floating through the air purposelessly was cut. Blood was roaring in his ears as he watched the emergency personnel take the ice.

It was as if he were in Tartarus with how torturously slow it was to watch as the medics talked to Victor. He couldn’t see his face, but when they checked his knee Yuuri saw him jerk back. They had a stretcher by them and helped move Victor to it.

Yuuri felt his stomach drop further. That wasn’t a good sign, it meant no weight could be placed on his leg, even with the help of others. He lurched forward again, finally breaking away from Yakov. “Victor!” he called out, finding his voice again as he ran to where they were carrying Victor off the ice on the opposite side.

The people carrying the stretcher didn’t stop, no matter how many times Yuuri called Victor’s name. Walls and people flashed by him in a blur as he ran through the back halls, hoping he was going the right way. He finally saw the medical room sign and raced through the door.

He was met by Victor set up on the examination table, leg already propped up as the two men bustled getting ice and bandages on it.

“Yuuri,” Victor smiled weakly.

Yuuri rushed over immediately taking Victor’s hand. “Hey,” he choked out, blinking back the tears. “Do you know how much you scared me there?” He tried to smile back, but was sure it was faltering.

Victor grimaced. “Honestly I may have blacked out a bit. I felt my knee buckle and pop.”

“How bad does it hurt?”

“It’s not that bad,” Victor replied looking down at the ice on his knee, jaw set. Yuuri followed his gaze. It was swollen and red and angry, even with the ice around it. Yuuri squeezed his hand, knowing Victor wasn’t telling the truth.

“Do you know what’s wrong yet?” Yuuri turned to the door to see Yakov walk in.

A med shook his head. “He’s got some bruising from hitting the ice and most likely an ACL tear, but we aren’t sure yet. His MLC could be affected too. We’ll need to take him to the hospital for an MRI to be sure.”

“Okay then, let’s go,” Yuuri stood from where he was leaning in to Victor.

Victor jolted up, wincing. “No! No, not until the medal-”

“No, Victor.” Yuuri cut him off. He knew what he was going to say. That he can’t leave until the medal ceremony. “We’re going now. Making sure you’re okay and getting you healing is more--”

“We?” Victor voiced, as if what Yuuri had said was only finally sinking in.

“Of course, I’m not leaving you.”

“No, Yuuri, you have the medal ceremony, you shouldn’t even be _here_. It’s fine, Yakov can go with me and--”

“No, Victor! I’m going with you!” Yuuri stared him down. He didn’t care about the medal he wanted to make sure Victor was okay, that he would heal, that…

“Yuuri, please,” Victor whispered. “I want to kiss your first Grand Prix Gold.”

Yuuri softened at that. He bit at his cheek in thought, Victor’s eyes pleadingly looking up at him. He didn’t want to give in on this one. He wanted to be with Victor, _needed_ to be, but he was expected to be somewhere else. Victor wanted him in that moment to be somewhere else. He  finally relinquished, sighing “Okay, but I’m coming straight after,” he leaned down for a quick kiss.

Victor stopped him, taking his face in both hands looking at him seriously. “Make sure you still stop and talk with the reporters. You have to keep your fans happy you know.”

“He’s right,” Yakov added.

Yuuri sighed, hanging his head.

“Hey, Yuuri, look at me.”

He dragged his eyes from the side to look back up at Victor.

“I’m not dying. It’s an injury. I will be there waiting for you when you’re done.”

Yuuri bit his lip again, unsure about it all. He wanted so badly to be there for Victor. And the thought of having to get through it all alone…

“Yuuri. You were incredible today. Please let other people recognize that. I wish I could be there with you.”

Yuuri nodded, relenting.

“Now, give me a good luck hug and kiss?” Victor’s regular blinding smile was back. Yuuri couldn’t help but smile in return and leaned in to capture his lips and fall into open arms. He held him tightly, pushing all the love he could into the hug.

“I love you,” Yuuri whispered into the crook of Victor’s neck.

“I love you too,” he murmured into Yuuri’s hair.

With a final squeeze and kiss, Yuuri left to go take the podium. It didn’t feel the same when Victor wasn’t there to share it with him.

* * *

He raced through the halls to find Victor’s room. Yuuri had escaped the formalities of the evening as quickly as he could. His clothes had been too hot, and his collar too tight no matter what he did. All night he felt an itch under his skin, the feeling that something wasn’t right, that it wouldn’t be right until he knew Victor would be okay. He barely paid enough attention to the reporters as they asked questions.

It was such a long night and Yuuri had to argue with the receptionist to let him in to see Victor after visiting hours. He finally found the correct door and paused, trying to take deep breaths, calming his nerves, hand gripping his gold medal tightly. He finally knocked on the door before opening it, hoping Victor wasn’t asleep yet.

As he peeked in he saw Victor, eyes closed and breathing slowly. The room was dark, illuminated only by the muted TV set in the corner. Yuuri smiled sadly, his heart growing at the site of his fiance, yet breaking because they were here and not at dinner or the hotel.

He quietly closed the door behind him and made his way over to the bed. He chuckled to himself slightly as he got closer. Victor’s hair was everywhere, some spralled across his face. Yuuri reached to smooth it back out of the way. His fingers brushed by Victor’s cheek as he swept the hair away and he leaned in to kiss his forehead.

Victor mumbled something and slowly opened his eyes. They were bleary at first, squinting to try and focus their way back out of sleep. Once he realized who woke him a dopey, lopsided smile graced his face.

“Yuuri,” he slurred sleepily, moving to get up, then wincing back, gasping.

“Sorry!” Yuuri started hands out trying to determine what was wrong. “I shouldn’t have woken you up.”

“No, no. The doctor said I can’t have any pain medication yet so they make sure it’s set in the least painful way. But yeah, kind of feels like little knives sometimes. So how did your evening go?” he asked, grimacing slightly as he pushed himself back up against the pillows so he was sitting up more.

“It was fine. You know, the usual,” Yuuri swept the question aside, then chuckled a little.

“What?” Victor quirked his eyebrow up in confusion as Yuuri took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Just thinking about how strange it was being there without you.”

Victor took hold of his hand. “I promise to be there next time,” he smiled.

Yuuri’s mouth quirked up in return. “I did bring a souvenir back for you though.” He held up the gold medal.

Victor looked at it, eyes shining proudly. “I knew you could do it Yuuri. Now you just have to earn, what? Four more Grand Prix and World titles to repay me for coaching you?” he teased.

Yuuri smiled fully at that. “Yes, but I’m pretty sure you first said you kiss gold, right?”

“Right you are, Yuuri.” He began to lean in to kiss it, but Yuuri swept down to catch his lips instead.

It was soft, yet fierce. It took Victor a minute to relax into it.

“I think I like that even better,” he hummed when Yuuri pulled away.

“Good,” Yuuri smiled. It fell slightly when he looked at Victor again. “What did the doctors say?”

Victor’s face fell, and Yuuri’s heart sank with it.

“Grade III ALC tear and Grade II MCL,” he whispered.

Yuuri lunged forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Victor. Victor didn’t have to tell Yuuri what that meant. He knew that it would keep Victor out the rest of the season. That he’d need surgery, that he probably wouldn’t be able to make it back to the ice competitively again at his age with an injury this severe. It meant months without being on the ice at all. Yuuri felt the dampness spreading on his shoulder, the shaking of the man in his arms, the silent sobs that wracked Victor’s body, so he just held him tighter.

* * *

It was hard. After getting back to St. Petersburg so many things changed but stayed the same.

Yuuri still ran in the mornings, still went to practices, and Makkachin still followed him everywhere. Yakov still yelled at him, Yuri still sneered at him, and Victor… Victor still smiled, but there was something buried beneath it. Something deep that couldn’t reach the light of day.

Yuuri saw it when he woke up in the mornings because Victor would still be there, sitting next to him staring at something Yuuri couldn’t see. He saw it when Victor sat at the edge of the rink, critiquing Yuuri’s routines, moving to step out on the ice before remembering he couldn’t. He saw it under the determination Victor wore as he did his physical therapy that was a newly ingrained part of their schedule. Yuuri saw all of it, but he wasn’t sure what to call it and he wasn’t sure if he should mention the broken fragments peeking out from under the surface.

Victor had thrown himself wholeheartedly into his new routine, making sure to follow every last instruction the doctor had given him in order to decrease the swelling before reconstructive surgery could happen. He hid himself in work. Constantly going over Yuuri’s routines, viewing and reviewing videos.

Victor kept smiling, acting like nothing had happened, like the media weren’t screaming about his fall, that he should have stayed in retirement, that the age of the great Victor Nikiforov had officially ended. He wouldn’t let the hurt show, but when he thought Yuuri wasn’t watching tears of frustration would flow when he couldn’t do something that had seemed so simple before.

And it broke Yuuri’s heart.

So Yuuri worried. He didn’t know how to make sure Victor was okay without it being a reminder. A reminder that the doctor said healing would take time. A reminder that Victor was 29. A reminder that he didn’t _have_ time. So he stayed silent and worried, giving him support when he needed it. Reminding him how much he loved him every chance he got, trying to make sure he remembered that Yuuri loved Victor for who he was and not for his skating. Even if he was the only one in the world.

* * *

Feather soft touches pulled Yuuri from the tendrils of sleep. He felt them gliding across his back in smooth comforting patterns. Patterns Yuuri was sure were ingrained in his skin by now. He hadn’t recognized them at first. They just signaled that Victor was somewhere else, his mind fully focused inward, but Yuuri soon realized that they were so much more. They were Victor’s feelings being painted on his back. They were his routines. Victor’s fingers skating out his love, his fear, his hopes from different parts of his life, slowly being etched on Yuuri’s skin, sinking into his very core.

When Yuuri was drawn into complete wakefulness his eyes finally fluttered open. It was still dark, only the soft glow of moonlight making its way through the curtains. He looked up to see Victor. His eyes far away.

Yuuri shifted to get closer.

At the movement Victor looked down and realizing Yuuri was awake, smiled softly at him.

“Sorry, love. Did I wake you?”

Yuuri shook his head and closed his eyes again, listening to Victor’s heartbeat.

“Are you ready for today?” Yuuri mumbled out, assuming it was after midnight.

It took Victor a moment to answer, the room falling back into steady silence.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.”

Yuuri wrapped his arms more tightly around him. “I’ll be there for you, ok? Don’t worry.”

He felt Victor nod stiffly. Yuuri knew there was a lot to worry about. He’d been there with Victor as the doctors went over how they would reconstruct the ligaments and the possible outcomes. That even if Victor did everything perfectly during his post operation rehabilitation that there was the chance he would still have a stiff knee, that it’d take eight months for full recovery if he wanted to be back on the ice. They said it was possible. It’d just take time.

When he remained silent, Yuuri gave Victor a squeeze before pulling himself up to look him in the eye.

Even in the dark they were so vibrant, piercing. Yuuri was sure Victor could read souls with those eyes. Or was it just his?

He held his gaze a moment longer before leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips.

“I love you, Victor,” Yuuri breathed out. “So much.”

Victor huffed a small laugh and smiled, pulling Yuuri back into him. “I don’t know how ever I lived without you.”

Yuuri blushed, hiding his face in Victor’s neck. They were quiet after that, Victor’s fingers still skating across his skin.

* * *

The procedure went well. The doctor said all that was left now was rehabilitation.

At first, Victor was all smiles and neediness. Yuuri would hear “Yuuri~!” ringing from the living room when he was gone for more than ten minutes. Yuuri would pretend to be exasperated when he entered to see Victor with his leg raised up on pillows with ice. He seemed in good spirits, Makkachin happily curled next to him. Yuuri’s heart expanded at the sight.

The first two weeks Victor needed crutches to get around and Yuuri’s help with his exercises. It was hard trying not to stop when Victor would grimace at the pain.

As the weeks went by, bleeding one into another, Victor became stronger. Soon he didn’t need his crutches, just the brace. He kept going. He kept smiling.

But Yuuri still noticed the small things that got to Victor. The things that he felt he should be able to do but physically couldn’t. The frustration that crossed his face when he had to ask Yuuri to pull down a sweater from the top part of the closet or to change the lightbulb in the entryway. And Yuuri would do anything Victor asked without complaint. But when he saw the other’s brow crease and the edges of his mouth tilting down, he wished he could give Victor what he wanted most. He’d do it for anything.

When Victor stopped calling Yuuri for things, he began to ask Victor what he needed. What Yuuri could do to make things easier for him. Victor would smile and request a drink or something small at first until it changed to him shaking his head that he didn’t need anything. Then, one day after he asked, Victor turned to him, eyes serious and full of intent.

He asked, “Do you remember when you asked me to have more faith in you than yourself?”

Yuuri nodded steadily. Of course he did.

“I need you to do that for me now.”

Yuuri nodded again, understanding, wrapping his arms around Victor. “Of course.”

So that’s what he did. He had full faith that Victor would get through this because that was all he could do besides be there while silently watching as Victor warred with himself in his head.

* * *

Yuuri let out a tired sigh as he opened the door to the apartment, closing it quickly before the heat could escape. Toeing off his shoes, happy to be back in the warmth, he dropped his keys on the table and shrugged off his gear bag. He stepped into the living room, a smile ready for the view awaiting him. Victor sitting on the couch, bad leg up, waiting for Yuuri to get back from the rink.

But he wasn’t there.

Yuuri frowned. Victor was always there when he got home. Where could he be? The bedroom? Or office?

“Victor?” Yuuri called, starting to head down the hall until Makkachin came bounding in from the kitchen barking, lightly nipping at Yuuri’s hand. His brow furrowed in confusion.

“What’s wrong, Makkachin? Did Victor not feed you?” Yuuri curiously followed the dog the opposite way to the kitchen.

As he reached the door his heart dropped, eyes widening.

Victor was on the floor.

“Victor!” Yuuri ran, rushing to his side. “Oh my god, Victor? Are you ok?” He took in the slumped posture, trying to determine where the source of his pain was. He noticed the shaking shoulders, hunched in. Yuuri’s hands hovered, not knowing where to touch, where to look. He finally carefully framed Victor’s face with his hands, slowly guiding Victor’s eyes up to meet his own.

He was crying. Tears ran down his cheeks, lip trembling. His eyes met Yuuri’s and he started to sob, shaking his head slightly.

Yuuri began to panic. “Did you slip? Is your leg okay? Did Makkachin knock you down?”

He shook his head again.

Yuuri felt panic rise in his chest. He needed to help. He needed to help, but he didn’t know what to do. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. He couldn’t help Victor if he was freaking out too.

“Ok, Victor. Nod yes or no. Do I need to call the doctor or take you to the hospital?”

Victor shook his head, no.

“Does your knee hurt more than usual right now?”

Again he shook his head, no.

Yuuri sighed in relief and then just took Victor in his arms, letting him cry.

“I’m sorry,” Victor finally choked out. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed into Yuuri’s shirt.  

“Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Yuuri kept running his hand soothingly up and down his back, kissing his hair, his temple, his cheek.

Victor just kept repeating his apology between sobs while Yuuri held him, murmuring that he was there, that he wouldn’t leave.

Yuuri didn’t know how long they sat there on the floor or how long it took Victor to calm down, but his gasps for air had reduced to shaky, steady breaths, head buried firmly in the crook of Yuuri’s neck.

Yuuri gave him a squeeze before slowly pulling away, allowing Victor to pull him back in if he wasn’t ready yet, but he didn’t. Yuuri took Victor’s hands in his, leaning back.

“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked softly.

Tears built in Victor’s eyes again. “I thought I could do it.”

“Do what?” Yuuri asked patiently.

“Get down the crackers.” His voice broke, tears silently striping his cheeks more as he lowered his head.

Yuuri only just then registered the stool pulled out by the cabinet. For all Victor’s height that one cabinet was still a bit too tall.

“My knee’s been feeling good. I thought I could do it. I just wanted some crackers, but I couldn’t even do that. I’m so useless.” He took one of his hands back, trying viciously to wipe away the tears, scrubbing at his face to no avail.

Crackers.

Victor was crying about not reaching the crackers.

He studied the man for a moment before it struck Yuuri. Victor wasn’t crying about the crackers. He was angry with himself, frustrated by his current limitations.

“Hey, Victor, honey. Look at me.” Yuuri took Victor’s face gently in his hands again.

He did his best to look, tears still brimming in his red eyes, throat bobbing as he tried to regain control himself.

“You are _not_ defined by your injury.”

Victor’s eyes snapped up to Yuuri’s fully at the words.

“Just because you can’t do what you used to does _not_ mean that you are useless. It means you’re human. It does _not_ erase your past achievements. It does _not_ make you any less Victor. It does _not_ change the fact that I love you whether you can get crackers down for yourself or not.”

Victor hiccupped a laugh at that.

Yuuri smiled a bit in return. “Now let’s get you up, shall we?”

Nodding in response he reached his hand up which Yuuri happily took to hoist his fiancé off the floor. He caught the small wince Victor made as he was upright again.

“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the doctor?” Yuuri asked worriedly.

Victor nodded and steadily made his way to the living room, dropping onto the couch.

Yuuri looked up to the cabinet and stepped quickly on the stool to grab the box of crackers before following after. He placed the box on the table and sat next to Victor, opening his arm in an invitation. Victor accepted it, leaning his entire body weight against Yuuri and resting his head on his shoulder.

They sat there silently for a while, Makkachin a calming presence at their feet. Yuuri’s head was swirling with questions. He had noticed Victor was frustrated. He understood. Victor hadn’t been able to do things he regularly could. Maybe Yuuri should have been more surprised this hadn’t happened sooner.

“How long have you been thinking that?”

Victor looked up, then away again.

“Thinking what?”

“That you’re useless.”

The silence in the air hung heavy between them until Victor sighed, burying his face more deeply into Yuuri’s chest.

Yuuri felt more than heard the muffled, “It’s harder this time.”

“What’s harder?” Yuuri asked. He thought he knew what Victor was referring too, but he needed Victor to say it. Needed him to explain what he was feeling and put it out in the open. Yuuri knew all too well how much pressure built up around unsaid words.

He felt Victor slide back up to his shoulder, staring down at his fingers.

“Healing,” he replied softly. “This injury seems so much harder to heal than past ones. It’s… I just… I feel like it should be faster, like I should be able to stand on a stool without my knee buckling under me by now.”

Yuuri ran his hand through Victor’s hair.

“The doctors all say I just need to give it time but I don’t _have_ time.”

Yuuri paused at that. There might have been a time when he would have just let Victor talk and not press him. But over the last year, seeing Victor in every possible mood, learning the difference between when he was sulking for the sake of sulking and sulking because something was actually wrong, unraveling the parts of a man Yuuri once didn’t believe was human only to find that yes, he was, he knew that at this moment Victor had been thinking something Yuuri hadn’t realized he was thinking. So he slowly readjusted himself so Victor was facing him.

“What do you mean you don’t have time, Victor?” he asked searching Victor’s eyes for a clue, because he always left clues to the depths of his soul in his eyes. At first it was something Yuuri tried to never look at because it felt intrusive, but now it felt like home.

Pain twisted Victor’s face again, shaking his head like saying it would be too much, but he finally said, “I just want to skate. I want to skate with you. I wanted to stand on the podium with you. I just… I worked so hard to come back.”

He hung his head.

“Skating is the only thing I’ve ever been able to do and… I couldn’t do it. And now I’m just… here.”

“That’s right.” The words felt heavy in Yuuri’s mouth as he said them, stones on his tongue. Victor could never just _be_ here. He held presence everywhere he was, all eyes drawn to him. He could never just _be_ anywhere. Yuuri had never been good with words, but maybe that’s what Victor needed from him right now. He took hold of Victor’s face. “You’re _here_ … with an incredible smile and loving eyes and the best hugs and the softest lips and the best motivation when I think I can’t do more, be more, but _you_ always believe I can. You’re here, where I get to wake up to you, where I can make sure you’re okay and don’t overdo it. You’re here with me. And I am the luckiest man in the world.”

“But I can’t do anything. I couldn’t even get crackers!”

“And I told you I would be happy to get you crackers for the rest of our lives if that’s what you wanted.” He searched Victor’s face for a shred of understanding. How was Yuuri supposed to convey his feelings in words? That was for the ice, but he needed to right now. _Had to._

Victor was still looking past Yuuri, so he sighed.

“Do remember what you asked me before?”

He didn’t get a response, so he continued. “You asked me to believe in you more than you do in yourself? Well, I do. I _know_ you can do this. I know it hurts and it’s frustrating and slow. I love you and will be here for you. But you can't hurt yourself by pushing too hard, Victor. If you want to try to compete again I will believe in you and support you. But you can only do that if you don’t injure yourself more now. And I will love you even if you don’t go back or don’t want to. I love you because you’re _Victor_.”

Tears started streaming down Victor’s face again and this time Yuuri couldn’t help it as he felt his own finally pin prick over the edge.

He wiped at the drops on Victor’s cheeks. “I love you _so_ much.”

That just made Victor’s tears come faster again, made his nose start dripping and his bottom lip tremble.

Yuuri looked at him, took him into his arms because actions had become so much easier than words.

Victor hiccuped, fists clenching and twisting the fabric of Yuuri’s shirt.

Yuuri absorbed the sobs, the pain, the heartache he knew had been buried deep, that Victor hadn’t been letting out, that he’d been hiding away from the world because he wasn’t supposed to have any weaknesses. Yuuri desperately wished that he could take some of it away and hide it where it would never be found again.  

He cradled Victor in his arms whispering words in an attempted balm he knows won’t heal him, placing kisses in his hair as he steadily rocked him. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay. We can make it through this. _You_ can make it through this. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Yuuri whispered into his ear.

The only indication that time passed was the light filtering through the window, golden rays of the afternoon sun fading to violet shadow soon leaving them draped in darkness.

Victor had gone silent but hadn’t moved. Yuuri didn’t say anything, just ran his fingers through silver strands of hair, looking softly down at the man he loves unconditionally.

Victor finally shifted, moving up, curling more closely into Yuuri.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

Yuuri paused, processing the words. He knew there’s more to them than mere appreciation, just like there’s more behind Victor’s smile or him cooking dinner on Yuuri’s night, more behind the simple soft touches he’d grown used to. It’s a reassurance, an I love you.

“You’re welcome,” Yuuri replies, his own weight behind the words, his own small promise that for Victor, he would do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic happened thanks to [this lovely fan art](http://anifanatical.tumblr.com/post/155113169885/season-2-angst-ideas-viktor-overworks-himself#notes) by the amazingness that is anifanitical ;-)  
> Thank you all so much for reading! And special thanks to [sarogane](http://sarogane.tumblr.com) for being the best and most supportive beta reader ever!!!


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